Waiting....

The last month passed in a blur, because I was rushing to meet to many deadlines, for the program, for scholarships etc. Now all my paperwork is done, my scholarship applications are in, my passport is in the mail, and I have registered for my classes.

And now, I have to wait.

And wait

Aaaand wait

Did I mention wait?  I hate waiting. It feels so much like in action. (I think I get that from my dad)

The past week has drug on and I am probably checking my email about every hour to see if I hear something new. The biggest thing I am waiting for are my syllabi for classes at Al-Akhawayn. I need to send them to American University to see if they will transfer next year since Al-Akhawayn is not one of their approved schools. It would be crappy if my classes don't transfer to AU. I would still be happy about going because of the experience and new perspective. I would just have to pay double the price re-taking the classes at AU. So hopefully that comes in soon. I'm also waiting to hear about my scholarship and financial aid. MC has to process my classes to see if I will be approved to use my Federal Loan for the program which will take a huge chunk of the cost. My scholarships will also be a huge help. I spent the last month in a frenzy to get all of this paperwork done and now I'm just waiting. The anxiety is killing me. I just want to know!

I guess this period of waiting is a chance for me to focus on this semester, since it is the last month of class. I'm kicking ass in all of my classes (except French, I have a B which is driving me crazy) even with all of the distractions. I just need to study and get finals done. Might as well do something while I'm waiting.

Fears

I wanted to take a second to talk about my fears for this trip. Kind of a depressing post, but I need to express this. There is so much to be excited for, but I don't want to ignore my anxieties. It is important, in admitting your fears you really gain the ability to face them. I have spent years afraid of things I couldn't name and they ate me up. It's time to be proactive :)

1. Being Alone

This has been one of my biggest fears since childhood and I'm certain most people have this fear regularly. But honestly, I've never been truly alone. I've isolated myself and made myself feel alone, but I have always had someone there for me when I truly need them. When I'm gone, who is going to be there for me? Who will hug me when something goes wrong, or help me when I'm sick? Most importantly the hugs, I love hugs from the ones I care about. I know everyone will be home, there for me, but google maps says that's 3,924.58 miles away. It's scary, but I have been trying to look at it as a challenge, and through challenges we grow stronger. It will give me an opportunity to become more independent and leave my shell behind. I have to make new friends and get outside my comfort zone in order to fight this fear.

  

   2.  Missing Events at home 

Equally terrifying. I'm going to miss my nephew being born. He's the first of a new generation, and I am going to miss it :( I'm sorry Abbey. On top of that, what if someone gets sicks? What if something happens to the ones I love at home and I'm not there for it. I'm not quite sure how to fight this fear yet.

    3.  Debt

ohmygod. My student debt terrifies me. I'm only part way through school and it is already so huge. I basically owe my life to the American economic system until my loan is paid. And god knows how long that will be. Owing money really gives me anxiety. 

   4. Loosing my Wanderlust 

This is more of a fear of what happens if I don't go. I have this beautiful wanderlust spirit that just wants to go out an explore. To face the challenges of the world and see and experience incredible things. I'm scared of not going because I'm afraid of loosing that spirit. It's been caged, for what feels like ages, by the monetary inability to travel. If I keep ignoring it, I'm scared of what might happen. I don't want to settle for a job that pays, but doesn't fulfill. I don't want to be middle aged and miserable, because I didn't go out and do the incredible while I'm young. I don't want to smother my spirit and become an "adult". Where is the adventure and fun in that?


What I'm not afraid of

   1. Ebola

Yes, I know its a deadly disease with a 71% mortality rate. If I contract it, or come in contact with it, I'll be scared. But honestly, the infection zone is tiny compared to the size of Africa, and the germ would have to travel across the Sahara to get to me. I honestly doubt anyone with Ebola will be in the condition to trek the Sahara.  Morocco is really doing everything possible to keep the infection out of its borders, including canceling the African Cup. Which is huge, because it got them barred from playing in the tournament.  I would rather help against the problem then be afraid of it.

     2.  Culture Sock

I might regret this statement later, but I'm excited to be put out of my comfort zone. It's a challenge I can grow from. It is what this whole trip is about: being taken out of my comfort zone and introduced to a new world.

So, that's what I have. Back to the excitement :)

Lists

I feel like every part of planning this trip has been lists. Lists of what to pack, what to expect, what to do. I have lists about paperwork for Al-Akhawayne, lists for Montana State (the Uni that the program is through), lists for myself (doctors visits, cell phone, bank...). I love lists because they organize what I need to get done. But I hate lists because they show me exactly how much is left to do. So much organization is going into this process it is like having another job. I can't wait to just enjoy it :)

Mon Raison d'être

I am beyond super excited! I'm feeling so much more besides excitement, and I don't even know where to start in regards to recording my journey. Some would say the best place to start is with the beginning so that's just what I'll do. I'll start with my reasons. Mon raison d'être. 

This trip means so much more to me than getting away for a semester. Don't get me wrong, the prospect of exploring is extremely exciting, but it is more than that. For me this semester is going to be the start of my future (corny I know, but bare with me). I have spent the past two years at Community College completely and utterly lost. I graduated from high school, knew I needed a degree, knew I wanted to go to a nice school but had absolutely no idea of what I wanted to do. I had one certainty in regards to my degree: I wanted to make a difference. I wanted to have a career where my work would mean something. I would make a positive impact on somebodies life. I didn't necessarily want to change the world, I just wanted to do good by it. 

That requirement is very broad, and there are a ridiculous amount of careers that benefit the world  (maybe not ridiculous because they are good...). And honestly, I'm a superb student. I could kick ass at any of them if I tried hard enough. And I have spent two years, a couple college credits and some good money trying to figure out what path would lead me from A to B. 

But I did it. 

Hell yeah I did. 

Somewhere between Environmental Engineering, Nutrition, Psychology and Political Science I landed on International Studies with a focus in World Development. 

What the hell does that even mean?

It means I am studying the world and the human race as a whole, and looking at what is holding us back. There is so much good in the world, so much potential for the human race to succeed. But our system is imperfect. People often do bad in an attempt to find the best path to success. This is real life we can't do experiments to find the best possible solution. All of us are haphazardly going along, and doing what we think is best. What I want to do is study how different people all over the world are getting from A to B, and see what is stopping them from realizing their full potential and development. I have been blessed with a privileged life and I want to understand what the world can do to insure people have the safety, love, education and fulfillment that has been available to me. In my future, I want to work with the Peace Corp, United Nations Development Fund, NGOs such as Amnesty International or even think tanks such as the National Peace Institute to study the problem and become a part of the solution. 

That's all nice and dandy, but what does that have to do with Morocco? 

Well as it turns out in order to understand this issues, you have to see them first hand. The internet isn't all knowing and even books don't tell the whole truth. If you want to fully understand something (or grok for the readers out there) you have to be a part of it. And that's what I want to do! I want to grok these issues so I can better solve them! Morocco is only the first step in my journey but the first step is usually the biggest leap. 

And well, to be honest, I've never really traveled outside of the United States. It's kind of hard to study the world if you've never seen it! 

I really got inspired to take this leap recently at my sister's wedding. My family rented this beautiful cabin for the weekend. The day of the wedding when everyone was running around getting things organized I was just sitting there with my Grandpa, admiring the mountain view with him. We talked about so many things, family history, politics (lots of politics) and the future. Talking with him about where our family came from and just life truly inspired me to start going after life with a strong conviction. Amidst all of this I got an email about a scholarship opportunity at my college and it was the purest instance of serendipity. I realized I had spent enough time trying to figure things out. It was time to act and become the change I want to see. 

So what better place to start than Morocco? Where cultures from Europe, the Middle-East and sub-Saharan Africa meet up in an African melting pot. Where I can continue my studies while getting engaged hands on in service opportunities and clubs. 

I honestly can not wait for this. It is an opportunity to study in a beautiful country while working towards a future I have been dreaming of. 

Welcome!

Hello! And Welcome to my humble blog :)

My name is Madi and I just got accepted to go on a wonderful adventure! Staring in January I will be studying abroad at Al-Akhawayne University in the beautiful country of Morocco. This blog is an attempt to record my adventure and keep in touch with those I love while away. I'm going to post as frequently as I can before I leave and try to make it a bi-weekly event while I am away.  Maybe as I record my process I will even be able to help future students in their own journeys.

I'm going to start this blog off with explaining the craziness I'm getting myself into and next post I will hit you with the real stuff. My reasons, hopes, goals and groking the world. 

So, this program is an awesome chance through my community college. It is in a consortium called CCIS with a bunch of different colleges with programs all over the world. It's awesome because it gives me an unique opportunity and there are options all over the world. Terrifying however because I will know absolutely no one abroad. I won't have that safety blanket of knowing people from my University when I get homesick or just feel completely out of place. On the bright side it also mean I can get the full Moroccan experience :) 

What's awesome about this program is that the University offers my degree (not a lot of schools do) and I can pick my own classes. There are no language requirements because the school is taught almost completely in English. However, Moroccans speaks French and Darija (a dialect of Arabic) so language classes are advised for anyone who wants to do anything besides sit in their dorm. 

On top of all of that they have this awesome student service center because volunteer service is a graduation requirement. I can supplement my studies with volunteer activities and awesome clubs like the explorer's club (who just go out and explore the country). Cheap, reliable and safe public transportation make this all a very sweet deal. 

Oh, did I mention it was economic (cheap doesn't sound right). At a total of about 10,000 USD (including spending cash and air fare) the program is about half as expensive as most University Programs. Score for me! It is still a huge chunk of change so one of my biggest challenges will be getting my expenses together, but I know it can happen. I'm trying to get help from a bunch of people and even starting a GoFundMe (please help! Even a little means a lot!)

That's about it for the basics of my plan and I will up date later with more :) 

À Bientôt!